We the living

If I had remembered how it was coming off snus (I have a feeling you would have taken me a lot more serious if I'd said heroin or crack here, but anyway..) the first time, I never would have started again. This is a weird Swedish tobacco product thing that is as common in Sweden as smoking. You who are ignorant of this Swedish oddity, check the link above as I really can't be bothered to explain.

I gave it up around two years ago, and have only been doing it sporadically since, when a friend has offered or, I admit, when I've happened upon a Swedish stranger in possession of it when drunk. However this new years when Ida was over, I freeloaded of hers so much that when she left, I decided to order some for myself online. Bad, bad choice. Thanks to the very high nicotine levels, and that you basically do it non-stop, when I ran out after a week my body was craving for nicotine. I decided to not order any more and to use nicotine patches as an aid through the misery that ensued. They really do help, but only to a certain extent.

Because of this, and the irritable feeling that invariably surfaces in a cold turkey situation, I now often FEEL THE NEED TO INFLICT PAIN ON PEOPLE AROUND ME. Especially people working for London Transport. Or fellow commuters who smell bad, or listen to LOUD SHITTY music.

You also snack non stop. I've chosen carrots over cookies as my snack of choice due to the fact that I pretty soon will be spending two weeks wearing mainly a bikini (Brazil). And they're cheap. Although I'm starting to fear that I might be going orange...

Why do we decide to poison ourselves in this way?

I know it's terrible to laugh at other peoples misfortunes, but sometimes it's really impossible not to. A co-worker forwarded these to me.

Interesting article about Obama's executive order to put an end to the controversial 'interrigation practices'/torture formerly embraced by the Bush administration, and that both the US Army and the C.I.A now have to follow the Geneva Convention's rules and guidelines.

It is interesting to note that Obama had support for this both in the conservative as well as the liberal flank of the army.

"One of them, retired Major General Paul Eaton, stressed that, as he put it later that day, “torture is the tool of the lazy, the stupid, and the pseudo-tough. It’s also perhaps the greatest recruiting tool that the terrorists have.”"

Friday did come to an end. And so have now the weekend. It's been a nice and relaxing one, although with a bit of a tough interlude on Saturday. F, D and me went to that exhibition at the Welcome library that I mentioned earlier.  It made me feel literally sick to my stomach. War is terror in every single way, and I feel so fortunate that I haven't (so far) had to experience it first hand.

The theme of the exhibition is War and Medicine, and it covers everything from how medical advances has been made in the context of war, to disease prevention, bodily disfigurement and the development of plastic surgery, and the severe psychological effects war has on people, both military and civilians. The wars that the exhibition mainly drew on were the Crimean war, the World Wars, the Vietnam war and the war in Afghanistan.

Art, photographs, medical equipment, videos.. Many forms of media were used to demonstrate the medical wonders that has been developed and invented, but also the sheer horror of the context of that development. If I wasn't a pacifist before, this sure as hell made me one.

The exhibition ends on February 15. If you have the opportunity, go see it. It's an awakening experience if nothing else.

(MSF's website for donations.)

My working day so far has been going on for, ouch, eight minutes. This is a bit disconcerting considering that I'm already about to fall asleep on my desk. Keyboards can look surprisingly suitable as pillow substitutes... Tea, I need more tea!!!!

C and her A cooked the most amazing dinner last night, and we had some friends over to enjoy it along with quite a few bottles of wine. Very nice evening. Very tired today. Will have a quiet night in with Howard tonight I think*.

Tomorrow I'm going with D and F to the Welcome library to check out this exhibition on War and Medicine that I think will be fantastic. I wrote an essay about the impact war has on health at Uni, so this exhibition should complement that very well. After this intake of culture and knowledge, me and D are going to J's house to enjoy some of her famous risotto, and som good red.

All in all, a pretty good start to the weekend.

Oh, and read this. Nicholas Lehman at the New Yorker discusses what it is that makes a president great.

*If anyone missed it, Howard it the name of my computer.

My mind is still caught up with what is happening in the US, and what ramifications it will have for the rest of us. Probably not as much as we would like... But the US having a president to appreals to people through reason and action, rather than poetry and grand but empty gestures, is a good start.

Over the past months, I have had to face the fact that my utopian dream, 'moral capitalism', the kind of proud and virtuous capitalism that Ayn Rand advocated, does not, and will not exist. We need people who are willing to shoulder responsibility, and to open their eyes to the suffering that is taking place around the world, and to act on the basis of this. It is a sad fact that every day, 13,000 people die of starvation. But I do not think that this is incompatible with individualism however - the kind of individualism which is based on mutual respect and humanism. I really don't.

God, this blog is becoming more and more abstract by each entry. I guess we all go through periods of emotional and philosophical change that needs an outlet somehow. After all, this blog is my way of venting my mind from all the junk that get's accumulated up there. So far I think I've done a pretty good job.

Am sitting at home, glued in front of Howard watching the inauguration festivities. If you missed Obama's speech, check it out here, both in written and spoken form. I think that it is an amazing speech, with Obama stressing the importance of responsibility, diplomacy, humanism and cooperation. I've cut and pasted my favourite bit of the speech below, the part that I feel is most relevant for the ones of us who lives outside the US.

"Recall that earlier generations faced down fascism and communism not just with missiles and tanks, but with sturdy alliances and enduring convictions. They understood that our power alone cannot protect us, nor does it entitle us to do as we please. Instead, they knew that our power grows through its prudent use; our security emanates from the justness of our cause, the force of our example, the tempering qualities of humility and restraint.

 

We are the keepers of this legacy. Guided by these principles once more, we can meet those new threats that demand even greater effort - even greater cooperation and understanding between nations. We will begin to responsibly leave Iraq to its people, and forge a hard-earned peace in Afghanistan.

 

With old friends and former foes, we will work tirelessly to lessen the nuclear threat, and roll back the spectre of a warming planet. We will not apologise for our way of life, nor will we waver in its defense, and for those who seek to advance their aims by inducing terror and slaughtering innocents, we say to you now that our spirit is stronger and cannot be broken; you cannot outlast us, and we will defeat you.

 

For we know that our patchwork heritage is a strength, not a weakness. We are a nation of Christians and Muslims, Jews and Hindus - and non-believers. We are shaped by every language and culture, drawn from every end of this Earth; and because we have tasted the bitter swill of civil war and segregation, and emerged from that dark chapter stronger and more united, we cannot help but believe that the old hatreds shall someday pass; that the lines of tribe shall soon dissolve; that as the world grows smaller, our common humanity shall reveal itself; and that America must play its role in ushering in a new era of peace.

 

To the Muslim world, we seek a new way forward, based on mutual interest and mutual respect. To those leaders around the globe who seek to sow conflict, or blame their society’s ills on the West - know that your people will judge you on what you can build, not what you destroy. To those who cling to power through corruption and deceit and the silencing of dissent, know that you are on the wrong side of history; but that we will extend a hand if you are willing to unclench your fist.

 

To the people of poor nations, we pledge to work alongside you to make your farms flourish and let clean waters flow; to nourish starved bodies and feed hungry minds. And to those nations like ours that enjoy relative plenty, we say we can no longer afford indifference to suffering outside our borders; nor can we consume the world’s resources without regard to effect. For the world has changed, and we must change with it."

 

As a final note, I want to point out that this speech was written by Jon Favreau, a 27 year old guy. That is almost as amazing as the US now having an African-American president.

...for having slacked with my blog for the past couple of days. I was in Cambridge over the weekend, and haven't really felt inspired to write anything since I got back. Today, however, is a different story. Will try to, despite being at work, watch a live streaming of the inauguration of Barack Obama. This is one site that I have found, but if you continue looking, I'm sure you'll find something better.

Will write more later. Now, back to work..

Go see it. This is the best film I've seen in a very long time. Good thing the picked Bruce to write the soundtrack. Rourke plays just the kind of guy that he often depicts in his songs. He is alone, fucked up, strong, but only in the spotlight, raw, but at the same time full of love. Pain is not the measure of his strength, but rather an escape from life.

The fight scenes were hard to digest. It's odd, watching the audiences, who screams with pleasure when someone get's thrown in and stepped on in a pile of barbed wire. And the staples! The staples were bad.

Bought a hat today to top off my outfit for tomorrow's 1989 party. It's very ugly, but I'm pretty sure they were in the 80s too.

Having read a recent a blog entry by Steve Coll I started thinking about the two words stated above. Courage. Passion. What do I have to be courageous about? What makes me feel the kind of passion that make journalists like Lasantha Wickramatunga willing to die for what they believe in? Nothing.

Understand me correctly here - I do not in any way wish that I lived in a society where one has to fight every single day for  liberties such as free speach, or freedom of religion. But I do think that I have let myself become emotionally indifferent, living in a society where cynicism and 'realism' has taken the place of idealism and a sense of 'what ought to be', and where people are rewarded for image, or what are considered material virtues.

Ideals are important, not only because it might spur one to take action against what one finds unjust in the world, but also because every individual must have a sense of purpose, also in their personal lives. We need to know what we are living for. This is what makes people create, act, and what moves this whole machinery forward.

This is abstract sounding indeed. But we need principles that we are willing stand up for and protect. Otherwise we will get lost in this great black hole called modern society.

But thank you London Transport! You  have finally stopped discriminating against tall people and increased the leg space on the new double decker buses. I no longer have to sit as if I were on a Ryan Air plane with my legs glued to the seat in front of me.

I just really hope this wasn't Boris' doing becasue then I would have to be gateful to him too.

Talking about Boris, Scandinavian Kitchen has compared the most beloved Swedish fictional character Emil i Lonneberga to Boris, claiming that there is some similarity. I don't know about you, but I object strongly to this...

As inspired by 'Countdown' and the current economic predicament. It does seem like Labour is indeed, fucked. (Source: The Independent)

.. is nothing compared to being a working professional in your 20s, living it large (or at least medium) in London. The city has been great these past four or so years, but it's not actually until now that I manage to enjoy it fully. As a student, you always have exams and essays, and more essays, and then some exams hanging over you, and I never allowed myself to chill out when I knew I had work to do. Hangovers were always filled with extra anxiety because of this...

Yes, I admit, I was one of the 'good' students who, most of the time, stayed in and did my homework, aiming at high marks for my work - but I don't regret it at all. I loved every second of my degree at Goldsmiths (well perhaps not that philosophy class with the drooler Burns, but the rest was pretty good) and i think I will have good use for it in the future.

But oh how I love having a job (a job I really enjoy I should add), working Mon - Friday's, and having the rest of the time, plus holidays, to do things I want to do. And getting paid for your hard (most of the time) work!

Dear friends who are still studying: Hang in there, I promise you it's only going to get better.

George Packer continues to be Obama positive.

...was a year when many things happened. George Bush was elected president of the United States, the protests in Tianmen square took place in Beijing, the television show Seinfeld premiered, and last but not least, Yugoslavia won the Eurovision song contest with this song called Rock me.

I have to admit that my own personal memories form that year are slightly... limited. I was four. However, on Saturday, I'm going to relive this beautiful year and create a few fresh memories at a 1989-themed party in Cambridge (of all places). I will also do some sightseeing with lovely F and her boyfriend R.  Never been to the place, but I hear it's fabulous and full of smart and attractive men (I haven't really, but there is always hope. Even in England).

Now I'm going to watch another episode of the West Wing, and then sleep. Yes I'm watching it again. It's too good not to.

By the way, I've named my iMac Howard. It's all in the spirit of the blog. The same author who wrote 'We the Living', Ayn Rand, also wrote 'the Fountainhead' in which Howard Roark is one of the main protagonists. In Rand's eyes he is the ultimate hero, strong and flawless. Just like my iMac.

My plan for January was simple: Don't go out, and don't spend any money. Well, I failed. On both points. Man-D helped me bring my new man (iMac) home on Friday, after which we just had to go to the Dove and share three bottles of wine. But since he is such wonderful company, I think it was fully justifiable.

Yesterday, F, D and me decided to go for a walk in Regent's Park. We nearly got our asses frozen off, and were chased by squirrels, but again, all in good company so therefore bearable. Evening, dinner at Cuban C's house with fun and interesting people. Was really determined not to go out, but then they played Bruce and I couldn't help myself. Visions on Kingsland road, and then home in the company of C and her A in the early hours. Remember singing Abba very loudly at a bus stop. Must stop doing that.

Today UPS is supposed to come by and deliver my computer at work. But, incapable as I am of trusting anyone (almost..) but myself, oh, and living in England, I obviously assume that something will go wrong, i.e. that I won't get my beloved iMac until from a few weeks from now, when I've finally managed to track it down in some shabby warehouse in SW29 (made-up London post code that I really hope doesn't exist) or something .

As you can all see I woke up on my sunniest side today. Wehey.

No, it's a bit of a slow day, but not that bad. Will be good to go out for a drink tonight with man-D. Hopefully it's be a non-alcoholic drink, but considering his British ways and all, he'll probably talk me into some late night binge..

Ciao

Are quite tasty I have to say. One of my boss' came back from holiday today, and he brought chocolate to everyone's delight. It's a thing we have at the office, a shared obession of chocolate. N takes the price though in terms of obsession-ness, with his constant trek around London, and the world, for the perfect bit of it. But he's Swiss, so go figure...

Ordered my computer yesterday. How exciting! Fingers crossed I might get it delivered to work tomorrow.

Last night was spent in the brilliant company of D around mine. We had some dinner, talked an approprate amount of bullship and watched The Big Lebowski. The Coen's are some weird dudes.

Now, back to the minutes I'm proof reading. Yeay..

I think I've written about this fetish of mine before, but I don't care. Because now I will be able to indulge in it more than I've done in a looong time.

I'm getting.....wait for it..... a new iMac!! Hopefully this week. Was waiting to see if they would present a new version at Apple's Keynote presentation at MacWorld today (see Stuff's blog summary of the pres here). They didn't, which means I won't have to wait too long to get one. They did present a new 17 inch MacBook Pro (which I would never be able to afford) that looks amazing, an updated iLife and iWork, and some other stuff. Am especially excited about the new iLife.

Yesterday I was saying that I need a hobby. From now on, this will be my hobby. I am far from a computer geek - quite the contrary. I know little or nothing about computer programming, games, weird settings, hardware etc. But Mac's I like. There is nothing as gorgeous or sexy as a Mac. Amongst inanimate objects that is. I'm not that weird...

It's official, really, I even expected it. I've reached a bit of a low point after two weeks of constant stimulation and distraction. I'm sitting here staring vacantly into space trying to figure out what it's all about. Watching all of the (thousands!) of pics from New Years makes me feel exhausted, but I also want be back there again, with all those fab people (fab, fab, fab!) feeling nothing but love (love, love, love!) for my fellow men and women. It was such a good high. And I miss the nicotine (Swedish snus) Ida was feeding me with. (This is why I don't do drugs. I know an addictive personality when I see one...).

Oh well, I just have to get into the steady pace of normal life. Rest a bit, and then have another look at things with fresh eyes. I think I need to have something to focus on. A hobby perhaps? Or maybe i'll just read a book..

I made tomato soup tonight. It was pretty damn good if you ask me. Mr Italy agrees.

Night night

And thank God for that. I am mentally and physically exhausted from two weeks of travelling, drinking, walking, drinking, dancing and laughing. And drinking.

This New Years has been the best so far I think. The party chez moi, was a success. I doubt it had anything to do with me or my house, but rather was the result of everyone being their most fantastic selves. I also particularly enjoyed it because I had all of my best friends gathered in one place (except darling K who was partying with royalty in Germany). They really are a fantastic bunch of people.

Now everyone has returned home, and I am slowly having to reprogramme my brain. When on holiday it's easy to 'forget' work and other practical things in your life that needs doing. Bills to pay etc.

I'm looking forward to a January of early nights in, working out, eating .....well,  a tad bit more healthy than I've done in December. Next thing to look forward to will be my trip to Brazil in February.

Now I'm going to make myself a cup of tea and crawl under the covers.

Night night guys